Monday, June 14, 2010

Selling Out

Well, I've done it now.
I'm truly disappointed in myself.
I sold Rosalyn.
My old, long time companion.
We hadn't been in the neighborhood for a week yet when one of the neighbors came by to check her out as I pulled it into the driveway when I first brought her over.
I could see the lust in his eyes, as I'd seen it in many others before.
But he was insistent, he was.
Made me an offer right on the spot.
Which I kindly rejected, because it wasn't enough to cover my attachment to this car.
He persisted, and persisted, and persisted, upping his offer each time.
Today, he made an offer I simply could not refuse, and I just now signed the paperwork and cashed the cashier's check.
I feel conflicted about it, in that I got far, far more money than the original $500 I paid to rescue her from the crusher, and the $4,000 worth of time, money and parts that are currently in her.
The one thing I also don't know about is that I'll still see her every day. She's right up the street. On the one hand, it'll be like keeping an eye on an ex, making sure she's in good hands. On the other hand, it'll be like keeping an eye on an ex, never allowing you any kind of formal closure, punching you in the gut each and every time you see her riding by with another man.
I'm gonna go drink this one off, friends.

Monday, June 7, 2010


As in down, as in "in" as in deflationary down cycle.
Anyway, settling into the new digs, finally, but there is simply no real time to enjoy it. Between the real job and the being swamped with tons of freelance work, there its wall-to-wall around here. Add in all of the work getting the place set up, and damn.
Funny thing though, no TV service yet.
And I'm getting along pretty well, except having to go to the bar down the street to catch the Lakers game.
And because of a scheduling SNAFU, there won't be TV service for a couple of more days yet.
Funny how little I've been missing it, again, except for the sports.
The Woman is kind of going nuts, though.
She does love her programs.
Anything else going on?
Oh yeah, the economic recovery is moving right along, as is the peace process in the Middle East, with everyone on board, pitching in and helping out. Add to that on oil leak that may not subside until 2011, and, well, let's just call it a Sunday and split the difference.
And its only June.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Let's Just Keep Doin' It Till We Get It Right

Or, how your old pal Huckleberry is spending his Monday.
I am now, more certain than ever, dedicated the elimination of "red tape" bureaucracy, bull shit legalese and just about everything else in the entire fucking world about now.
I have, what I am certain is shredded, formed and milled remains of a section of the Redwood Forest sitting here on my desk, all of it that I have to pour through, right now, to make sure that I won't be forced to grab my ankles and think of England in a year or five years hence, just to procure a house in a city, in state that I really don't want to live in for another minute, fuck all for the rest of my natural life.
So, how's your Monday treating you?
Funny thing, my grandfather used to tell the story about when his grandfather shot a revenue agent over a matter of some misfiled paperwork, that my great great grandfather had signed on the wrong dotted line, and the other party had signed on the line intended for his, and even though all required signatories signed, they were going to have to confiscate whatever the contract entitled him to. When the matter went before the court, the judge sided with my great great grandfather on account of the revenue agent not being able to testify (hospitalized, not dead) to the plaintiff's account. According to my grandfather, my great great grandfather served 90 days for disturbing the peace, another 90 for assault and that was that.
My point is, though I desperately wish to do the same thing, I know that such will lead me to more than 180 days in the clink.
You can stuff it.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Suspense Is Killing Huckleberry

Well, we were supposed to take the keys on the first of this month, to the brand new abode, but due to a couple of hiccups with an inspection and with escrow, it's pushed back until the 10th.
So, yes, Huck still has himself a little bit of time to steal away in the middle of the night, acquire some fake documents and head for the border.
But I won't.
Anyway, there have been some fun things in the news, including the attempted bombing of a public square, a massive oil spill off of the coast of Louisiana, an immigration law that everyone is pissed about for different reasons, the flooding of Tennessee, Greek Fire, and something else, that for whatever reason escapes me at the moment.
So there you go, the state of the world in five easy links.
You can't beat that service anywhere else, friends.
Truth be told, with all of the crap going on personally over the past few days, I'd hardly had a chance to catch up on any of this, so its news to me too.
Oh, yeah, and El Borak was in California, and he didn't even stop by to say hey.
His loss, beers would have been on me.
Next time.

To close it out, I leave you with this.
You philistines better appreciate it, that's all I have to say:

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Anyone Else Feel A Draft In Here?

Draft Wrap-up.
Holy shit, the Chargers had a good draft.
They traded up to get Ryan Mathews, a RB who not only will be the next LdT, but he actually reminds me a lot of Tomlinson when he came out of college. I'm excited.
And they got the Nose Tackle I hoped they would, picking up Cam Thomas out of my alma mater. They also picked up a bruising safety, another linebacker and a third string QB whom I have concerns about, but lets face it, he ain't ever going to start for the Chargers.
Awesome draft.

-- Original Post --
Today is Draft Day in the NFL.
I'm not cool with it.
Thursday "night" (4 pm here on the West Coast, when I'm still at fucking work)?
Fuck you.
The first two rounds of the draft should be on Saturday, starting in the morning, like it has every year since I've been alive.
But no, we've got to fuck with things simply because we can, and its sad to see that the government doesn't own a monopoly on that line of thinking.
Round One tonight/this afternoon, Round Two tomorrow, and the rest throughout the weekend.
Fuck you, NFL.
Anyway, here are the things I'd like to see happen;

The Rams and Redskins swap picks a la the Giants and Chargers in 2004, where Bradford goes to Washington, and the Rams pick another offensive lineman.

The Raiders trade away their pick to the Steelers for "Humpy" Rothlisberger.

By some miracle the Chargers pick up Ryan Matthews

The Vikings land Jimmy Clausen, because as much of a prick as the kid is, he's going to be the best QB taken in this draft class, and dropping to the 30th pick will do his ego a world of good. And it'd give Favre a clear exit strategy.

That if the Chargers can't get Matthews, they trade down and try to fatten up in Round Two. No Terrence Cody. Please, God, no Terrence Cody.

And with that, I'll keep up with the first round of the draft online, through PFT, because the NFL brass just refuse to leave shit alone. Thanks, Rodger Goodell. This will be the first NFL Draft of my lifetime that I won't actually be able to watch.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

It's BBQ Season, Yo

I've been grillin' and drinkin' and generally just carryin' on.
And yes, I pay by the letter g, lowercase in ending sentences, so that's why there ain't none there.
In honor of that, I offer my BBQ sauce recipe, published for the first time anywheres.

One stick of butter, unsalted
Two chopped onions (use red onions if you want a little kick)
Six chopped cloves of garlic
Three cups fresh tomato paste (make it yourself from fresh tomatoes)
One cup apple cider vinegar
One cup Worcestershire sauce
One cup packed dark brown sugar
One and 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
Two teaspoons pepper, ground extremely fine
Two teaspoons kosher salt
One pour of bourbon (Makers Mark if you want sweet, Russel's Reserve or Knob Creek if you want savory)
Two 12-ounce cans of Dr. Pepper

Melt the butter in a sauce pan, and saute the onions and the garlic in the butter until they're clear.
Throw in the remaining ingredients and let it all simmer until the sauce begins to thicken, which is about half an hour to 45 minutes.
Let the sauce cool for about 10 minutes.
It's good for brazing, slow-cooking, and to use as a condiment.
It is not good as a marinade.
I like it best with pork and chicken, though I find it a little too sweet to use with beef.
This makes an amount that is good for one grilling session feeding about six-to-eight people.
Any extra should be used within a few days.


More of the utter, unbridled genius that none of you give two shits about:

And for all of them, click here.


Monday, March 22, 2010

It's Funny

You'd think I'd be a little upset, or wary, or pissed off this morning.
You'd think that.
You'd be in error.
I feel great.
And I've still got my health!
Wait a second...
Seriously though, does this surprise anyone?
Were any of you fooled by the excruciatingly slow, poorly scripted kabuki unfolding in the Capitol lo these many months?
I wasn't.
The funniest part, (if any humor is to be found in this) is that the Senate likely won't pass the House's reconciliation bill, which was the only reason the House was willing to pass the Senate bill in the first place. It will be fun to see them stabbed in the back yet again.
Actually, the funniest part was watching Stupak denounce on the House floor the exact anti-abortion funding language he himself had written, and had pushed for months.
You will hear a lot of tough talk about repeal, and it will likely sweep the Repugs back into power as a seemingly stunned Democrat leadership watches helplessly, but it is all window dressing, all for show.
The only chance for opponents to repeal is for the courts to strike it down, and the only avenues they'll have are
1. Declaring the unconstitutionality of the individual mandate
2. Declaring the undfunded mandates placed on states to be unconstitutional or excessive
3. Through some kind of challenge of Congress' authority to even do this through the commerce clause, as health insurance isn't technically commerce, and even if it were, is not commerce that is exchanged between state lines at all.
4. Through a backdoor legal challenge to the student loan nationalization bill that was passed as an amendment to the HR health bill.
In my heart of hearts, I don't think any of them will go anywhere, but on the bright side this more than a trillion-dollar debacle will rocket America's entitlement charade well beyond the precipice and into the howling chasm of doom and destruction much sooner than I had been banking on.
I'll drink to that.


Also, I am not quite clear on how this new package insures "30 million+" of the uninsured, with no public option or single-payer government system. As far as I'm aware, this bill institutes a shitload of taxes, the individual mandate, some token and meaningless subsidies for small businesses, orders the 50 states to expand Medicaid coverage (but not necessarily to cover more people) and heaps mountains of regulations on insurance companies. Which they are probably happy about, because they know they can then raise rates exorbitantly because you HAVE TO BUY insurance. It is likely that many of the small insurers will fold up shop and be absorbed by the larger ones, and since health insurance companies still will not be able to compete across state lines, chances are there will only be one or two companies in your state when the dust settles.
Guess which way premiums will go then?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Why Huck's A Rebel, And He'll Never Be Any Good

It would figure that following my bragging on myself for posting twice in the same week I would essentially enter radio silence for nearly a month afterward.
Keepin' you on your toes, folks. We're a full service outfit here.
I have had a decent excuse.
We're getting a house.
I about fainted six times just trying to write that sentence.
Heaven help me.
Yes, the guy who's lived in 32 different cities across the continent in the last decade is puttin' down roots, and is freaked the fuck out about it.
But enough of my bullshit.
How've y'all been?
What'd I miss?